Carry On
by ACharmingTargaryen
Summary: Juice was hurt when the love of his life left Charming on a whim but when she breezes back into town, she tells everyone she's just there to visit her cousin's grave. Seeming like she's fallen on hard times, Makiya's hiding a secret. Will this bring her and Juan Carlos back together or tear them further apart? Summary sucks, story's decent- Juice/OC
1. May Your Past Be the Sound

"Hey cuz." A short redhead says, kneeling in front of the small gravestone. "Oh Kip, it's so weird to talk to you like this. I'm sorry I wasn't here for the funeral. I tried my hardest to get here; The doctors wouldn't let me go...then I had my own funeral to put together." She continues, rubbing the tattoo on the back of her neck. "That's no excuse for letting so much time pass before  
I actually got here. I've made such a mess of everything. I'm so sorry I wasn't there Kip." She finishes, bursting into tears.

"You okay darlin'?" A voice says from somewhere nearby.

Wiping her eyes, she turns and sees a man standing at another gravestone nearby.

"Jax?" She asks, slowly standing up.

"Makiya?" Jackson Teller says, looking at the small redhead, confused.

Makiya Epps nods, tears once again running down her cheeks as she leans against her cousin's gravestone.

Jax walks over and gives the woman a hug before leading her away from the graves to the parking lot.

"What brings you back to Charming Kiy?"

"Kip. Even if it's just a stone, it's still a comfort to talk to him."

"I get that. Where you stayin'?"

"My car. I didn't think ahead, I just drove. Freelance doesn't bring in much extra cash so I can't afford the Ramada." She says as she unlocks her car.

"Swing by the clubhouse or the garage if you need anything." Jax says, opening the car door for her.

"Thanks Jax. I don't want to be a burden on you or the club or anything. I probably won't even stay in town long enough to see anyone but you; But I appreciate it." She replies, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug before getting in the car and heading toward Main Street, fighting back more tears.


	2. Of You're Feet Upon the Ground

"Fuck." Makiya says, kicking her car. "This can't be happening. My phone is dead, my car won't start, I have no money and I can't go to the club." She mumbles, grabbing her purse and locking her car before slamming the car door.

After stalking around Main Street for a while, Makiya takes a deep breath and decides to chalk up her pride and take a walk to Teller-Morrow.

Fifteen minutes later, Makiya stands at the gates, working up the courage to walk inside the compound.

"Need some help there darlin'?" A man with a deeply accented voice says, walking down the hill toward her.

Makiya chuckles softly. "Uh, hey Chibs." She says, their eyes meeting.

"Jesus, Kiya-girl. What are you doing here?" The Scotsman says, pulling her into a hug before walking her into the compound.

"I'm in town to visit Kip. My car broke down and my phone's dead so I walked over to get some help."

"You could have gone into a shop and used a phone, you didn't have to walk down here." He replies, laughing at her.

"Oh well, I'm here now." Makiya laughs herself.

Chibs shakes his head. "Let me get the keys for the tow truck and we'll see about getting your car." He says, walking away.

"Okay." The small redhead replies, leaning against the passenger side of the tow truck, taking in the sights of TM.

Not wanting to stare at the clubhouse, she stares into the garage.

He was working on a bike close to the bay doors when she saw him.

Right away, she could tell there was something wrong with him. There was a slump to his shoulders that was unusal for him.

"Hey Juicy-boy! We got a pick-up!" Chibs yells from the office enterance, pointing in Makiya's direction.

Juice turns around, spotting her; Seeing her for the first time in two years.

The first thing she noticed about him was the deep purple bruises on his neck, followed by the pain in his eyes they met hers.

Then he shook his head at Chibs and took off toward the clubhouse.

"That went well..." She mumbles to herself as Chibs shakes his head and walks over to the truck.

"Looks like it's just us love." He says, unlocking the truck and letting her in before walking to the other side.

The first minute or two of the ride was spent in silence as she thought about Juice.

"What happened to him?" She asks softly.

"He's going through some shit darlin'." The Scot replies, "I'm sure seeing you didn't help much. He was a wee bit messed up after you left." He finishes, pulling up behind her small car.

"I was a wee bit messed up when I left." She mumbles to herself as he gets out to hook the car up.

They talked about what had gone on since she left, both leaving out some important details.

"We'll have to find you a place to stay. Can't live in your car with it in the garage love." He tells her once they got back to TM.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I don't want to be a bother. I'm sure I can manage something."

Chibs shakes his head. "We take care of our own Kiya-girl. I'll talk to Jax. In the meantime, head on in, have a drink."

Makiya agrees reluctantly and walks in the clubhouse door and right into a familiar face.


	3. So I Met Up With Some Friends

"Sorry, I should pay more attention." Makiya mumbles, looking at the floor.

"Makiya?"

"Tara?"

"What are you doing here?" Tara Teller asks, pulling the smaller redhead into a hug.

"Visiting Kip. Was living in my car for a bit but it just shit out on me. Chibs sent me in here." She rambles off, walking further into the clubhouse.

"Damn. Well, I'm sure Jax wouldn't mind you crashing here. I'd offer you our couch but it's complicated."

"Hey, no worries. I showed up without warning. I'll sleep in the street if I need to."

"That's not gonna happen."

Makiya laughs. "Thanks T."

The two women talk for what seems like hours before they're interrupted by Jax, Opie and Bobby.

"Can we talk quick?" Tara says after Jax gives her a quick kiss.

"Sure; What's up?" He replies, leaving Makiya with the other two members.

She spends a few minutes catching up with them until Chibs walks in with all of her stuff.

"Didn't think we should leave this stuff in the garage." He says, dropping it by the pool table.

"Thanks. I appreciate all the help. I don't know how I'll repay you guys."

"No need. Told you, we take care of our own."

"And with that, Tara and Jax make their way back into the room.

"You'll be staying in one of the rooms Kiy. For as long as you need." Jax says, dropping a kiss on the top of Makiya's head. "Chapel in five." He says to the other guys.

Chibs nods and walks back out to the door to get the other members who are working in the garage.

"I'm just gonna get a room and crash I think." Makiya says, walking over to pick up her duffel bags and things.

"I'll give you a hand." Tara says, helping her pick up her stuff and leading her to an open room.

"This is one of the cleanest rooms. I've been working on it but..." She says, dropping the stuff.

"You're a doctor and you have two boys." Makiya laughs, "I could work on it. I mean, least I could do since the guys are letting me crash here."

"That could work." Tara says, leaning against the doorframe. "That's a lot of stuff for just coming to visit your cousin's grave."

Makiya sighs, dropping onto the bed. "Well, it's a little more complicated then that. I went through a rough patch; Lost my job, my apartment. Spent a few weeks living in my brother's basement before packing a lot of my stuff in my car and driving to the last place I remembered feeling whole. Charming." She says, rubbing the tattoo on the back of her neck.

"Well, it's good to see you again." Tara says after the two women sit in silence for a minute or two.

Makiya chuckles softly. "Not everyone thinks so."

"He'll come around. He was really cut up after you left. And he's been going through some shit lately..."

"That's almost exactly what Chibs said too. Doesn't anyone know what's going on with him?"

"He won't let anyone in. Whatever it is, it's doing something terrible to him."

"I saw him for a minute ang I could tell that much." Makiya says, "I don't know if coming here was such a good idea afterall."

"I thought that same thing when I came back too. Everything will work out. You'll see."

Makiya nods thoughtfully as Tara checks her watch.

"I gotta get home. You need anything, you let the guys know."

"Thanks T." She says, getting up and giving the brunette woman a hug before closing and locking the door.

Without thinking, she digs through her bags for an old t-shirt that she took from him and her favorite picture of them together.

Laying in bed later that night, she thinks back on everything she could have done differently in her life with Juice.

"Don't go down that road Kiya." She mumbles to herself before drifting off to sleep.


	4. If You're Lost and Alone

Walking into the main area of the clubhouse the next morning, Makiya nervously looks around before quickly scooting into the kitchen to get some coffee.

After making herself a big cup of coffee, she tries to sneak back to her room but freezes when she hears Chibs calling her name.

"Mornin' darlin'." He says as she sits down at the table with him and Bobby.

"Morning." She mumbles, looking into her coffee.

"He's not here, you can perk up a bit." Bobby says, patting her on the shoulder.

Makiya smiles softly. "Running into him is inevitable. I mean, look at where I'm living. I just...I know he's hurting and I don't want to make it worse by bringing up old relationship shit." She says, rubbing the tattoo on her neck.

"Well, maybe you can snap him out of his shit." Chibs says, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he leaves her with Bobby.

They sit and talk for a while until they hear someone drop something behind them.

"You alright Juice?"

"Uh, fine." He says, picking up the stuff he dropped and moving quickly past their table.

"I'm gonna go back to my room. I'll see you later Elvis." Makiya says, giving Bobby a kiss on the cheek before dropping her cup in the kitchen and walking back down the hallway.

"Hey JC." She says softly, walking by him.

"Hey Kiy." He replies, staring at the floor.

"It's good to see you again." She says with a little smile, rubbing the tattoo on the back of her neck.

"Yeah, you too." He says, looking at her but doing his best to avoid meeting her eyes.

They stand in silence for a moment or two before Juice mumbles that he has to go and rushes away.

Makiya sighs and walks back to her room. Getting there, she flops down on the bed, forgetting to close the door.

"You alright?" A voice says from the doorway sometime later.

Sitting up, she wipes the tears away to see Opie standing in the open doorway.

"Yeah, things I'll just need to deal with. I can't ask him to trust me or to even still care for me. I can't expect that of him.

"But you still love him. So you'll always want that in the back of your mind."

"I'll always love him. There's always going to be something connecting us...even if I'm the only one who knows it." She mumbles before slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Care to elaborate?" He asks, walking further into the room, closing the door behind him.

Makiya shakes her head, laying back on the bed.

"Look Kiy, you don't have to talk to me but you gotta talk to someone. You can't keep all you're shit bottled up."

"I know but this is just a tough issue."

"We're here for you when you wanna open up darlin'."

Makiya sighs and gets up, digging a folder out of one of her bags.

Handing it to Opie, she sits back on the bed. "In there will be a little bit of an explaination."

Opie opens to the folder and begins looking through all the papers and pictures inside it. Behind all the pictures of Makiya and Juice together, he finds letters that the young woman never sent as well as something that makes him stop and look up at her.

"Ultrasounds...?"

Makiya takes a deep breath. "When I left I was two months pregnant. No one knew, I even made it a point to go to a clinic instead of St. Thomas. I wasn't sure how Juice would handle it. At the time, it just seemed easier to hide my condition until I had to get home because of all the work shit that popped up. I had all intentions of telling him, I just needed to think about how."

"What happened? I mean, we'd have noticed if you'd brought a kid with you." He asks, looking throught the ultrasound pictures.

"I was eight months along when I got the news about Kip. I took time off of work for the family emergency and set out for Charming. I was halfway here when my gps took me down this windy back road. I had just gone across this one way bridge when I saw this truck swerving on the road ahead. I tried to avoid him but we both zigged when one of us should have zagged and we collided head on." She says, rubbing the tattoo on the back of her neck. "I don't remember much after that. Jameson said I was out of it for a few days. All I know is that I woke up and had to name my sweet stillborn baby girl. I was probably the hardest thing I'll ever have to go through."

"You shouldn't have had to go through it alone though."

"I know but after I buried Nevaeh, I slide into depression. I really had no idea what I would say to Juice then. He probably wouldn't have believed she was his...and that would have made the pain worse."

"You don't know how he was going to react. You should have told him from the start." Opie says, handing her the folder.

Makiya takes out her favorite picture of her and Juice and stares at it for a moment.

"I've fucked everything up." She says softly, running her finger over the picture.

"There may be time to fix it. But to do that, you're gonna have to talk to him."

"I can't. He's got his own shit."

"This is his shit. It took both of you to create that baby. He deserves to know. The boy was so in love with you that he couldn't function properly."

"Could he ever though?" She laughs softly, tears glimmering in her eyes.

Opie smiles and sits next to her on the bed. "You gotta do something. He has the right to know."


	5. And You're Sinking Like a Stone

**A/N-** Wow guys! I really didn't expect this kind of a reaction to this story! I suppose I should have put this little not in the first chapter but I was just nervous to put this up. First off, anything you recognize, I don't own...not that I would mind owning Theo(: Second of all, Makiya has been my brain child for a LONG time. This is supposed to follow season four, but seeing as I haven't seen any of season five, it's going to end up being all original.

Please bear with my guys, it's a work in progress.

**Thanks for reading!**

Makiya sits in the main room of the clubhouse a few days later, pondering how she could get Juice to talk to her. Coming up with nothing, she goes back to her original idea of using her memories folder.

"Thinking about what we talked about?" Opie asks, taking a seat next to her.

Makiya nods, then leans on the table, resting her head on her fist. "I have an idea but I'm gonna need your help."

"Anything you need, consider it done."

Makiya smiles. "I'm gonna put some stuff together in an envelope. I know he's not going to take anything from me so I'm gonna need you to give it to him."

"Done."

"Thanks Op." She says, giving him a side hug as she stands up and heads back to her room.

Sitting on her bed, she picks up her folder and flips through all the pictures. Laying back, she clutches one of her last ultrasound pictures and her favorite picture of her and Juice close to her chest.

"Opie's right Vaeh. Daddy has a right to know about you." She says, tears pooling in her eyes. "Lord give me strength." She mumbles, sitting up and placing the pictures back in the folder before sliding it all in an envelope she picked up earlier in the week, adding an extra letter in on top.

Writing Juice's name on the front, she walks back out to where Opie's waiting. She slides him the envelope and gives him a kiss on the cheek before walking out the door.

"You alright darlin'?" Chibs asks from his spot on one of the picnic tables.

"Yeah." She says, taking a deep breath before sitting next to him. "Just...thinking. About the past. And...just how much I miss a lot of things."

"Like the idiot?" Chibs chuckles.

The short redhead laughs softly. "Especially the idiot. I feel so helpless when it comes to him. I still love him so much. I want to help him with all the shit he's going through but he doesn't need me coming at him like that."

The Scotsman listens to her ramble, nodding his head. "Maybe he does need you coming at him. He still loves you, it's right there in his eyes when he looks at you."

"We'll see." She says, standing up. "I need to get out of here for a while." She says, giving him a wave as she heads out of the compound.


	6. They Say We've Lost Our Minds

A/N- Hey guys! Same disclaimer as before, if you recognize it, it belongs to Kurt Sutter.

This chapter is gonna bounce from Juice to Kiya and back again so I hope it doesn't get confusing or anything. :P

Juice walks into the clubhouse and immediately takes a seat at the bar.

"You okay?" Opie asks, smacking him on the back.

Juice nods silently, running a hand over his mohawk.

"Got something for you, might wanna open it in private." The taller man says, putting the envelope from Makiya in front of him before motioning in the direction of the dorms.

The shorter man gives him a confused look, recognizing his former girlfriend's handwriting on the front of the large envelope.

"You know what's in here?"

Opie nods before thrusting it into Juice's hands and pushing him off the chair.

"Trust me. Look at it alone."

Juice nods and walks slowly into one of the rooms, shutting and locking the door behind him. Sitting on the bed, he opens the envelope, pulling the contents out.

Noticing "Start here" written on the top of a paper stuck to a folder, he sits back, trying to prepare himself for anything.

_Dear JC, _

_ I know this isn't the best way to try and talk to you but it's the only way I could think to tell you all these things. First off, I want you to know that I love you. I've always loved you and I'm probably going to love you for the rest of my life. Secondly, I want you to know that I left because I was scared to tell you something. Something that was as much a part of you as it was of me...I'm sorry I hurt you Juice. But I hurt myself just as much. It broke my heart to leave you but it would have broken my heart even more to have you reject me...reject us. All of this will make more sense after you look at the contents of the folder. Please look at everything...and if you want, I'll be waiting for you._

_ Love, Makiya._

Juice reads the note twice, trying to grasp everything she was saying before putting the note aside and opening the folder. Inside, he finds pictures of him and Makiya. Intimate moments, silly moments, moments that made his chest swell with the love that he tried so hard to purge from his heart.

He took a moment to stare at a picture that looked like it had a lot of miles on it. He ran a finger over her face before bringing it to his lips, kissing it lightly. Setting it aside with the first letter, he flips through letters that she must have written to him after she left. He only reads a few of them before getting distracted by what was sitting behind them.

"What the..." He says, picking up the ultrasound pictures. "Jesus...Christ..."


	7. Picking Up the Pieces

Makiya walks back into the clubhouse a few hours later, her stomach all tied up in knots.

"Hey kid." Opie says as she sits next to him.

"Hey. Deed done?"

"Yep. He's been in the room for hours."

The small redhead nods before getting up and walking to her own room. She walks slowly down the hallways, pausing to stare at the only closed door in the hallway.

Juice looks through all the ultrasound pictures for the hundreth time before getting up and walking out of the room and into the main room of the clubhouse.

"Have you seen Makiya anywhere?" He asks Chibs, who was standing right next to the bar talking to Opie.

"She's in her room." Opie answers before Chibs has a chance to.

"What's up?" The Scotsman asks, noticing that it looks like the younger man's been crying.

Juice just shakes his head, turning to jog back to the room he'd been sitting in to grab the folder before going to knock on the young woman's door.

"Just a second!" The small redhead calls out in answer to his knock.

A minute or so passes before she opens the door and sees him standing there, clutching the folder in his hand.

"Hey JC; I see you got my package."

He nods and pushes past her into the room. "We need to talk."

"Yes we do." She replies, shutting the door before sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. "Wanna sit?"

He shakes his head, instead laying the folder on the bed next to her. "So many questions, I don't know where to start."

"From the beginning Juice, we have to start from the beginning."

"How far along were you when you left?"

"Two months."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was terrified. A baby wasn't in the cards for us then. We had a hard time being serious about anything. We were just kids JC, we weren't ready to raise one...I couldn't handle what would happen if I was the only one who wanted that baby."

"Kiy, I wanted a family with you. Shit, I still want a family with you. You've always been it for me. I wish you would have told me..." He says, sinking down onto the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry Juice. I really am, I wish I could change a lot of things about how I handled the whole thing. I wrote you a million letters, tried to come back. I was going to call you but I never seemed to have the right number..." She trails off, picking up the folder and pulling out one of the ultrasounds.

"What happened to the baby? Why isn't it here with you?" He asks, dreading the answer that he was about to get.

Makiya takes a deep breath, not really ready to tell his story for the second time this week but knowing that Juice needed to hear it. "I was eight months along when I got the news about Kip. I packed up and was on my way out here to handle all the funeral stuff when I was in a really bad car wreck. I spent a few days in the hospital that I can't even remember. The first thing I do remember is waking up feeling empty. My brother had to be the one to break the news to me. The baby died in the accident. I went into labor and the scene, gave birth to a stillborn before passing out..." She says, trailing off at the end to try and stop the tears that were falling.

Juice stares into space for a second, trying to process everything. He thought he was a father, that Kiya had just left their child with her brother while she came to visit Half Sack's grave. He didn't notice he was crying until she reached out to wipe the tears off his face.

"Was it..." He starts to say before his voice breaks.

"A little girl, I named her Nevaeh Skye Ortiz." She replies, taking his hand; not needing him to finish the question. "I wanted you to be there Juice. I wanted to tell you everything. I need you there with me, to help give me the strength to bury our baby." She says, completely breaking down.

He slides closer to her, wrapping his arms around her as they cry together.

A few hours later, there is a knock on the door.

Getting no answer, Chibs opens the door a crack and just peeks around it.

He smiles slightly to himself, seeing the young couple laying on the bed asleep; Makiya's head on Juice's chest with his arms wrapped around his waist.

"Just what the lad needs." He thinks to himself, shutting the door quietly, leaving he couple alone.


	8. Author's Note

Howdy readers!

Thank you so much for all the follows and reviews for this story. It's awesome to have so much feedback and I'm glad you all like it! :)

Unfortunately, I've hit a MAJOR roadblock on where to go with this, so it's on hiatus for now. :(

Never fear though, I have another idea floating around that's causing the Carry On writer's block, so maybe you'll see something coming out of me soon.

Until then, I send my love and affection to you guys! xD

-Ashley.


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